Much has been said about the understated struggle of a SAHM as well as a working mom’s juggle of the sometimes-conflicting responsibilities. Many women in the first year of their baby’s life make the transition to go from one role to the other, or vice versa. But not much has been said about this unique process, i.e. one of the toughest transitions a woman goes through in life.

Recently, I made the life decision to go back to work after being home for a year since my daughter was born. We thought it was a timely decision because of the nature of the opportunity, the commute, my mental readiness, and how baby S seemed developmentally ready to have more than just mom and dad as primary caretakers. It was a decision that we made together as a family with a lot of discussion, thinking, and planning for the changes to come.

I had about 3 weeks between accepting the job offer and starting the job. During this time, the husband and I went through so much preparation and communication to make sure we, especially baby S, were prepared for this new way of life and that we would all continue to thrive.

Some of these decisions were difficult to make, and the conversation that we had to have in order to make the decisions was no easier.

In today’s post, I wanted to share with you the various aspects of our lives we had to modify in order to meet the demands of a household with a working mom, and how we went about having these conversations and the things that made our communications successful.

1.      Budget do-over

Personal finance and being debt-free are big in our family. I’ve written a few blog posts on this topic (how fashion blogging ruined my finances, becoming debt-free, living a financially responsible life) if you’re curious. With starting a new job, I was going to be driving more, eating out more, probably shopping for little stuff more, even though I was also going to make more money. We spent a couple of family meetings to create a new family budget based on our new combined income but also changed the budget amount for not only the mundane things like transportation and restaurant but also fun things like shopping and coffee. 

The one brand new budget category we had to create was for an in-home nanny. We made the decision not to send Baby S to daycare because my parents and my husband’s parents offered help out a few days a week. This makes it so that the cost for a nanny (3 days a week) is relatively affordable. We also wanted to be able to keep Baby S home so we don’t have to drop her off/pick her up, and also minimize her exposure (therefore our exposure) to sickness/germs. It took some shuffling of allocations and we made it work within our budget.

2.      Simplifying things – wardrobe

One thing I was semi-worried about was getting my wardrobe in line again. It’s been almost two years since I’ve needed to go into a corporate office where “PJ all day” does not meet the dress code. So, imagine how elated I was when a web-based styling service company, Allume, reached out and asked me to try out their service.  

Once you sign up for Allume, they take a $20 fee for you to work 1:1 with a stylist that will learn about your wardrobe needs & styles through a questionnaire, and create three looks that you can purchase directly through vendors that are selling the pieces. The $20 styling fee also goes towards any purchases you make through Allume. They have kindly agreed to give my readers a 50% discount code to the styling fee – use “CHIC50” to use the service for only $10!

The below was the winning lookbook that my stylist, Michelle, created for me. I ended up purchasing the striped top through Neiman Marcus and the pair of gold chain earrings through the LOFT outlet. I wore them for my new brand photos and have been wearing them at work regularly! 

Due to COVID-19 and the number of us trying to work from home and practice social distancing, I can only imagine the Allume service will come in handy for many of us since shopping in any retail location is out of the picture at this point.

3.      Simplifying things – communicating things to do, buy, and take care of 

I’m sure this sounds very familiar to those of us that live in a house with a domestic partner of any kind. You are constantly trying to fit each other’s schedule and activities together, and despite all your efforts there still are times when one of you goes “we’re doing WHAT tomorrow??” Or you’re at the grocery store, standing in the dairy aisle trying to remember what kind of cheese your spouse told you to get, three times. 

The system that the husband and I have been leaning on is Google Keep. It’s a simple note-sharing app that you can both edit and see each other’s edits in real-time. We keep multiple shopping lists (Costco, local organic store, Trader Joes each has their own list) at all times, cross things out when we get them at the store, and re-build the list as we notice things that we need around the house. It’s made grocery shopping so much easier.  We also have packing lists for when we have to travel (not doing that for a while). Lastly, we use these Google Keep lists to keep track of the general house chores that need to be taken care of – like hanging up framed photos, donating old clothes, or rolling over my old 401K plan, etc. 

4.      Simplifying things – meal planning

To some of you, this may be a no-brainer or something you’ve been doing for a long time. It wasn’t for us. In the last few months we started to have more “crap, what can I make with a pack of sausage, celery, and half a cabbage?” moments than we liked in the middle of the week, an hour before dinner time. My husband usually shops for groceries with a recipe in mind. It’s me, the free spirit in the house, that tends to pick up some bell peppers and eggplant because they both look fresh and think “I’ll figure it out later” and end up not knowing what to do with them. And they both go bad. So, we decided to change that.

We curated a list of recipes with pictures of things that we have made in the past and know that we like eating. This repository of images and recipes is what we default to when we grocery shop and don’t have new ideas or time to find new ideas on what to cook. 

5.     Communicating better and more frequently

This is something that, as married couples, we should all be improving on, regardless of employment situation or if you’re a stay at home mom vs. working mom.  The truth is, when we get busy and get pulled in multiple directions toward things that all feel like priorities, we get so lost in our minds and we forget to simply talk to our spouse. Yes, you can use all these tools and tricks I mentioned above, but if you and your spouse are not communicating and communicating well, no tools will make you feel like you are rowing in the same direction and speed in this little boat we call life. So, how do you improve communication with your spouse?

Start out with intentions. Get on the same page with the need for better communication – you have to both acknowledge that you need to hear each other out! Once you’re in agreement, then set pre-determined times when you sit down with each other and talk it out.

Secondly, remove distractions. When you talk with each other, make sure it happens after most of the chores of the day have been completed, kids are in bed, and there aren’t other priorities tugging at you. Put the phone away, and yes, it’s hard, but do it. I still have to keep reminding myself to put my phone away when I talk to my husband about important stuff.

“No one wants to talk to a person who is always 50% focused on something else.”

Lastly, when you are talking about things on your mind, especially when it comes to feelings, start with the way that you feel, as opposed to what our partner did that made you feel that way. The truth is our intentions are usually good, but when we are reacting or panicking or just plain autopiloting sometimes, we aren’t aware of the consequences of our behavior or action. So when we start by the way we feel, we sound less accusatory. And what we really want is to stop feeling this way, not so much to make our spouse feel bad that they made us feel that way, right?

I hope my advice on how we transitioned, as a family, from me being a stay at home mom to a working mom. Really, whatever you do as a mom, let’s just take a moment and agree that it’s a hard job. And being a dad is also a hard job. We are stronger, better, and happier when we are in this together. Can you share your experience on how you and your partner made things work more efficiently and smoothly in your family life?

The post 5 Lifestyle Changes I Made to Transition from a SAHM to Working Mom appeared first on Cubicle Chic.

It’s been 7 months since I last opened my WordPress editor. Let’s just let that sink in a little bit……

Before this hiatus, I blogged almost non-stop for 4 years. What a strange seven months it’s been, with me not having produced a single article. Today, it’s with a heavy heart that I share this with you guys, my dear readers…

I’ve had nothing to say.

Did you think I was gonna say I’m shutting the blog down?  Oh, no. Never. I worked too hard all those years for Cubicle Chic to suffer the death of unknown causes. Sure, being a full-time Mom takes up all the time and energy I can muster. Sure, I set out to become a full-time blogger 2 years ago and have come short in every way imaginable. Sure, I’ve had a major case of an identity crisis because of owning a blog name Cubicle Chic and having no cubicle to call mine. But here’s the thing…

Even when I had nothing to say, I still have this burning desire to write. To create. To produce. To leave something behind. Call me crazy.

All of this got me thinking about something tangential yet sobering. People say social media is for the superficial and that it’s all about showing off. It’s easy to categorize it all as egotistical Millenials putting up a glamorous front by curating every envy-worthy detail of their life and neatly packing them into the 9 squares accompanied by carefully researched hashtags. It’s not a wrong statement to make and most of us are guilty of it at least at some points. But I think it taps into something deeper and more primal.

A poet writes, a sculptor creates, a photographer captures what he/she sees in the world and a writer writes. When it’s a singular, recognizable, and “respectable” skill (the kind that takes time and effort to develop), the output of it is deemed artistic and productive.  The problem with creating anything on social media when you are a layman is that it seems like it takes no effort. It’s easy because Facebook has made it easy for you to showcase photos, writings, art or anything that you want to share with the world. And after the post becomes public, you receive “likes”. The Godforsaken likes. Likes that ruin everything. Likes that taint the purest of intentions. Likes that mask the desire to create and make it look like you’re groveling for attention.

But it’s not that simple. At least not for me. There is joy in the act of creating something. Choosing the right word to convey my thoughts. Putting phrases together that sound beautiful. Obsessing over the order of sentences for more clarity. This is why I write.

Which brings me to the future of Cubicle Chic.

I still want to add value and be of service to my readers. But going forward, I’m going to write things that I have personal interests in. Books that inspire me. Ideas that invigorate me. People and stories that bring me to tears. I want to write about things that uplift me, and hopefully, through my writing, I can uplift you, too.

In the meantime, I’d like to share a few things that have been enriching my soul lately.

Four Things That Brought Me to Tears Last Month

It’s a collection of a book, a Facebook clip, a TV series, and a movie. If you enjoy things that make you think while shedding a few tears, click on each of the thumbnails below or just bookmark them. You don’t regret it, I promise.

1. Call Me American; 2. Ray Chen – The Swan; 3. Modern Love; 4. Last Christmas

Stay tuned for more. Thank you for reading!

The post A New Season In Life (Update After a 7 Month Hiatus) appeared first on Cubicle Chic.

This article was sponsored by Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company (MassMutual), Springfield, MA 01111-0001. www.massmutual.com All opinions are mine.

Influencer is a funny title. I have been one in the last few years. Then, I became a mom. This is when realized all moms are influencers because that is the direct relationship we have with our kids. I wrote about my hopes for baby Sophia and my promises to her in my last post, but I continue to think about who I want to be as a mom and our growing relationship. As Sophia turns 5 months old next month, I am becoming more and more conscious of my influence on her.

She is just starting to scrutinize me. I often find her fixating her gaze on my face with a slight furrow, and I can’t help but wonder what she’s thinking. She’s probably studying my every facial expression, my body language, and my interactions with others. Unlike mothers of boys, mothers of little girls provide something a bit different for their babies – how to be a woman. We are the first person to teach our daughters about how to conduct ourselves. What does it mean to be pretty and to be confident? How do you balance playing nice and being ambitious? What does it mean to be feminine and a feminist? As mothers of little girls, even if we don’t have answers ready, at the least we have to help them explore and develop the skills to answer these questions.

As I ponder how I could be the best role model for baby Sophia, I can’t help but feel incredibly indebted to my own mother, and the beliefs, attitudes, and strengths she’s passed onto me.

I inherited from my mom the passion to create, especially with words and phrases. My mom is a music teacher by training but her real strength lies in her dedication to what she believes in and her relentless efforts to commit to her goals. She is an award-winning author, famed educator, and an expert farmer/gardener. But most importantly, she is a loving mom that does whatever is the best for her children and does it to the best of her abilities. When I think about my professional self, the strong woman that can stand up to people for what I believe in, the woman that isn’t afraid to charge forward amidst difficulties, I give my mom all the credit. It wasn’t like she ever sat me down and told me I have to take myself and my career seriously, that hard work pays off, and goals are important. She has simply lived that life. She had inspired me to do seek out ways to take my career seriously, work hard, and set goals. They say parenting is caught and not taught. There is a lot of truth in that saying.

Parenting is a quest of never-ending striving and learning. As a mom, I have the burden but also the honor of modeling for another woman to uncover the power within her. I find that to be an incredible blessing.

A special thank you to MassMutual for partnering with me in this post. Find out more about what it means to live mutual and how MassMutual celebrates unsung heroes in our communities at https://www.massmutual.com/cm/theunsung

The post A Special Blessing – The Mother-Daughter Relationship appeared first on Cubicle Chic.

Dear Sophia,

I just put you down for the third nap today. Watching your sleeping face brings mommy so much joy. It’s the kind of joy that makes mommy wonder what I ever did to deserve you in my life. The last 3 months of daddy and mommy’s life have been a whirlwind, but undoubtedly the best 3 months of our lives. In preparation for your arrival, we read books, watched videos, took classes, and asked our friends about how to be the best parents. We took things very seriously, stressed and strived. But the one thing that we weren’t prepared for is the kind of joy and happiness that you would bring to our life.  It’s inexplicable, and has turned mommy into a total cliche because I literally cannot believe how much I love you!

Mommy has thought long and hard about the kind of mom I wanted to be. You see, I have hopes and dreams as a mom, but I was always afraid that they would be self-centered and selfish. My hopes and dreams would be about what you want, what you hope for in life, and how you want to live your life. Of course, I will be there to guide you and shape your beliefs in the early years, but we will be learning wheels and not crutches, counselors and not constraints. Whenever mommy has a quiet moment to look at you with no distraction, mommy thinks about the future. Mommy thinks about what I can do to make sure that you grow up to be a happy, confident, courageous, and good-hearted person. Most importantly, mommy thinks about how our relationship will be, and that I want to be your friend when you grow up more than just being your mom.

As your 100-day birthday approaches, mommy decided to collect these thoughts and write you a letter.  It’s funny how as we live life, life itself gets in the way of us enjoying the little precious moments. This is Mommy’s way of putting the moments in a glass jar… and saving it for you to savor and relish when you are ready. Mommy is a mere mortal and a very flawed one at it, and there will probably be moments in your life when you wonder if mommy ever loved you. If you have doubts… remember this:

When you are old enough to read this letter one day, know that since the moment they first laid your bare body on my chest with the umbilical cord still connecting us, I have not loved anyone more in this world.

Mommy promises to always consider your perspective in everything

Mommy promises to listen

Mommy promises to always be your friend

Mommy promises to always laugh with you

Mommy promises no matter how busy life gets, to always pay attention to you

Mommy promises to always try to be a better mom

 

Mommy hopes to help you see the best in yourself and in others

Mommy hopes to appreciate the beauty in this world with you

Mommy hopes that you become an optimistic, empathetic, and warm person

Mommy hopes that the failures you experience in life always teach you valuable lessons

Mommy hopes that someday you will love someone as much as mommy has loved you

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Note:

I’m a very reflective and introspective person. I’ve always been. But nothing has made me re-examine everything I know, believe, and care about like the arrival of Sophia did.

In the early phase of my pregnancy, I was very anxious about the fact that I was becoming a mom. If you read my post about things that no one tells you about being pregnant, the throbbing sense of anxiety is unmistakable. I worried that I wasn’t up for the task. I was glad that I had 9 months to think myself through this lack of confidence. Yet it wasn’t time that I needed. I simply needed to meet her. It’s strange. The closest description I have for the transformation I experienced is that it’s magical, powerful, and unimaginable even for the most creative minds. The overwhelming sense of affection, obligation, and attachment I feel toward my daughter is something that I could not have fathomed before. It’s nothing short of eye-opening.

The most distinguished way that this experience has changed me is my attitude towards the unknown. I’ve always been the type of person that sees more threat and danger in the unknown of the future than opportunities and growth. But motherhood, specifically the joy that emerged with it, has changed my belief. I realized that the mind simply isn’t capable of grasping the good the future could bring. Even if it does, the logical part of our brain will suppress it. With this experience, I’ve become more optimistic about the future in general. I often catch myself looking forward to all the things I will get to do with Sophia in the future. The panic and anxiety that I experienced when I first became pregnant are no longer.  Even though I am more sleep deprived than ever and do not have the freedom I used to have in the conventional sense, I am more at peace, content, and fulfilled than ever.

The post A Letter to Sophia // Mommy’s Hopes and Promises appeared first on Cubicle Chic.

Happy 2018! How’s your new year going so far? Are you hitting the gym, reading a lot, knocking stuff off of your to-do list every day, like I wish I was but definitely am not? LOL. In the first week of 2018, I hit a productivity lull. Maybe December was too productive for me (I wrote 8 blog posts, EIGHT!!). Or, maybe the holiday eating and slothing around finally took a toll on the creative part of my brain and it went into a food coma… But today, I’m here with a new giveaway, a 2018 planner review, and to talk about things that I’m going to do differently on this blog in 2018. Because Cubicle Chic is constantly evolving and so am I. Oh, and because Albert Einstein said this:

One of the biggest themes in 2018 on Cubicle Chic is: how can I better serve you?

Host More Giveaways

The few giveaway I did toward the end of 2017 allowed me to get to know more of my readers and really got the chance to give back & thank you for caring about the content I create on Cubicle Chic. I plan on doing more of this in the future. Today’s post is definitely one of them! Scroll to the bottom of the post to find out how to win one of the 3 planners!

Offer Free Career Counseling Service

I launched a free service on Cubicle Chic last month called What Would Cubicle Chic Do. This is your chance to ask me any question career related – career rut, job search stagnation, inter-personal conflicts/issues at work… anything! Click on the tab below (it’s also hosted on the home page of this blog) and you can expect a personal answer from me within 2-3 days!

Post at Least 6 Times a Month

This is my promise to you, but also a challenge to me. I promise will not just create more content, but create more content that is useful, relevant, interesting and insightful.

Share More Raw, Behind the Scene Content

As a blogger, one of the dilemmas I always have is… am I creating an illusion of false reality for my readers and followers? On the one hand, I know for a fact that no one wants to see me in PJ’s with bed hair going about my morning routine. But at the same time, if I’m wearing a full face of makeup when I do a “just got out of bed” post, that’s creating a reality that doesn’t exist, and I’m not willing to go there. So, in the spirit of being raw, here’s a funny photo from a recent shoot that was a total blooper. LOL.

Now, onto the 2018 planner review!

I found three 2018 planners from Amazon all under $20. I picked them based on popularity in reviews, aesthetics, and size. I don’t believe in the huge & bulky planners and think mobility is a very important factor in selecting a planner. So without further ado, here’s my 2018 planner review of 3 planners all under $20:

 01.13.2018 Update: The winners have been selected. Please see the contest widget below to see if you are one of the 3 winners! I will contact you one by one to claim your prize. Thank you for entering!!

Orange Circle Studio 2018 Do It All Planner $17.99

Pros:

• The aesthetic design of this planner is SO pretty.
• The front cover doubles as a little pocket and the back cover has 3 slots as card holders!
• Comes with stickers for decoration and personalization

Cons:

• The bulkiest of the three
• The interior pages are not as colorful as the exterior

Day Designer for Blue Sky 2018 Weekly & Monthly Planner, $14.99

Pros:

• The aesthetic design of this planner is ON POINT inside and out!
• The most compact one of the three
• It feels very sturdy and durable

Cons

• No pockets or folders to contain loose paper/documents
• Doesn’t offer any customization option

Bloom Daily Planner 2018 Calendar $15.95

Pros:

• Guys… marble for life, right?
• Front and back cover both double as pockets

Cons:

• The design of the writing pages is a little bland
• The front and back covers are made of paper. Good quality paper. But the paper material may not sustain wear and tear as well as the plastic ones.

Now, I am giving all three planners away in this post!

Read the instruction below on how to enter… the giveaway ends at the end of the day on Friday 1/12/18.

2018 Planner Giveaway

The post What I’m Doing Differently This Year || 2018 Planner Review appeared first on Cubicle Chic.

I hope you’re all having a wonderful Christmas Day! I don’t want to keep you long on this day when you should be giving your family and loved ones your undivided attention… if you want, save this post (bookmark, or if you’re on Bloglovin, you have the option to save it too!) and browse it later! I wanted to share a few outfit options today with you for any upcoming New Year’s Eve Party. Scroll down to see where I got this cute little number from!

Holiday Colors

I love to wear white, red, gold, and other variations of these colors during the holiday time and into the New Year. Maybe it’s my Chinese heritage or maybe they just fully embody the holiday spirit for me… I think white and red is the perfect color combination for a New Year’s Eve party!

My Fail-safe Outfit Choice for All Occasion

One of these days, I’m going to run out of things to say about Eliza J dresses because there is always a perfect Eliza J dress for any occasion.  I wore one for my husband’s company holiday party earlier this month,  I wore it during our wedding rehearsal dinner back in March, and another one for another company holiday party 2 years ago. Need I say more?

Product Details: Marc Bale Watch c/o  The Peach Box

Outfit Details: Marc Bale Watch c/o The Peach Box &  Audrey Swing Pearl Crystal Earrings – Rose Gold

Outfit details: c/o The Peach Box Audrey Swing Pearl Crystal Earrings – Rose Gold

Outfit details: c/o The Peach Box Audrey Swing Pearl Crystal Earrings – Rose Gold

Whatever you wear, make sure to put away your phone when you’re ringing the New Year in, have great conversations, really TALK to your loved ones and not just having superficial conversations. To me, that’s what the holiday season is really about. See you in 2018!!

All photography by Natalie Alvarado @ Stylenfuse

The post New Year’s Eve Party Outfit || Eliza J Fit & Flare Dress appeared first on Cubicle Chic.

We are literally a couple of days away from Christmas. Most of us have been enjoying our holiday and/or Christmas decoration probably since the beginning of the month. But in case you are having guests over this weekend and are looking for some last minute ideas, I got a few for you!

I literally whipped these decorations together last week right before my Friendsmas Party. So they are VERY, very easy to source and put together. Places you’d have to go to source these materials: Dollar Tree, Home Depot, Hobby Lobby, Michael’s, and as always, Target!

1. Buy a Christmas Wreath: OK I know this isn’t exactly an insightful tip. But Christmas wreaths really are those decorations that just set the tone for your entire house or apartment! There are many inexpensive options from the stores I mentioned above. But if you want something that’s just a little more exquisite, Silk Plants Direct offers beautifully crafted holiday wreaths on their website. I was blown away when I received it in the mail… the colors are gorgeous, the decorative pieces are intricately strewn together, and it looks amazing. The only downside was that a couple of the pine cones had fallen off during shipping. It didn’t take much effort to glue them back on, but I thought I would mention that.
   

   Silk Plants Direct (c/0): Hydrangea, Helleborus, Pine Cone Wreath – Green Red 

2. Table Centerpiece: This centerpiece features a $1 religious candle from Dollar Tree and miniature Christmas wreath from Trader Joe’s with a few festive bows with wires. If you’re in a cat household like I am and cannot have a Christmas tree (see the reason why here), having a little wreath like the one I got from Trader Joe’s makes up for it a lot. It’s made of real fir leaves and pine cones so it has the lovely tree fragrance! 
3. Fireplace mantel decoration: This entire area features some holiday faux-fur knit stockings from Target, lighted (with Philips string lights) metal Christmas tree and other faux-plants from Michael’s. Remember, a lot of these items go on sale right after Christmas… so if you are the kind fo plan ahead, don’t forget to snatch up some of these super cute decorations comes December 26th!  
4. Lighted glass wine carafe with Christmas Ornament: This is probably my proudest creation. The glass water carafe was something we just had hanging around the house. I shoved a set of Philips battery operate dewdrop lights we bought from either Target or Home Depot.. can’t remember. Lastly, I added some Christmas ornament/decoration branches from Michaels that I bought a few weeks ago for a photoshoot. Voila – I have a lighted Christmas vase!  
5. Lighted cork board for collecting holiday cards from friends and family: This is a similar trick to #4. All I did here was lined our bulletin board with the same battery operated Philips battery operate dewdrop lights and it instantly gave the board a holiday vibe!

That’s it. I hope my last minute and inexpensive holiday decoration tips were helpful. Show me a picture of you used any of these tips… I might feature them on Cubicle Chic Instagram page!

The post Last Minute & Inexpensive Ideas For Holiday Home Decoration appeared first on Cubicle Chic.

Thank you Jord Watch or sponsoring this post. I am wearing the Cassia Ebony watch in this post. It makes for a really unique Christmas gift this year. You can get a 25% off code here and purchase by 12/19 to make sure it arrives before Christmas!

2017 is Almost Over…

Can you believe 2017 is almost in our rear-view window? I know it’s Christmas and everything but where did the year go?! It doesn’t feel that long ago when I was preparing for the arrival of 2017 and thinking about what I wanted to accomplish. What were some of the things you wanted to achieve this year?

What happened to your 2017 New Year’s Resolutions?

Just maybe… You wanted to read more. You wanted to be healthier in food choices and exercise more. You wanted to manage time better. You wanted to call and talk to your loved ones more. You wanted to be recognized for your work.  You wanted to get that promotion, that car, that purse you were eyeing… you wanted to save more money. You wanted to pay off your debt. And the list goes on…

Jord Watch Cassia Ebony Watch

Jord Watch Cassia Ebony Watch

Here’s why I Failed to Meet My 2017 Resolutions

I know I failed to achieve most of my 2017 new year’s resolutions. And it wasn’t because I didn’t work hard enough or didn’t set the right goals. There are some things that are fundamentally flawed in the way most of us go about setting goals. So, to help channel the end-of-the-year enthusiasm and energy into setting the right goals, here are ways to NOT go about setting your 2018 resolutions:

Treat your life as if it were a business

In the business world, it’s all about the ROI and the end results and delivering results is always more important than using the right methods. But we are human, and if as human, our behaviors are fueled by our motivations. So, to maintain and sustain our motivations, methods are more important than the end goal. Stephen Guise of Mini Habits argues that by setting goals on very small and easy-to-do tasks, you are more likely to develop a habit. In the grand scheme of things, developing a good habit has more long term benefits than meeting a transient goal.

Fixate on the goals that you’ve failed to accomplish year over year

I know I’ve been saying I want to lose 15 lbs since I was in my early 20’s. I’ve gotten close before, but I’ve never actually accomplished this goal. But year after year I find myself making the same resolution. And year after year, this goal just carries less and less important because I know exactly what happens when I don’t accomplish it: nothing.

Set goals that depend on others’ action or behavioral change

This approach is setting you up for failure because of 2 reasons. Number 1, you can influence people but you simply can’t change them unless they wanted to change. And secondly, if others’ actions are involved in meeting your goal, when things don’t work out, it’s too easy to shift the blame onto others and not feel accountable.

Set goals based on materialistic possession

It may feel like a milestone to be able to afford and pay for something grand, like a car, or a watch, or a designer handbag. But the truth is, it’s easier than ever to finance things, and setting purchase as goals is basically creating temptations for yourself to fall into the trap of “putting it on the card”. Additionally, we all know how fast the thrill of buying something fades so meeting a goal like this isn’t going to be very satisfying.

Have no plan on how to achieve the goals you’ve laid out

This is probably the quickest way to fail your goals. They do say goals without an action plan are just dreams. And we should certainly have the ability to dream, imagine the impossible, and picture accomplishing things beyond our immediate surrounding. But to achieve your goals you need tangible, trackable or measurable plans to make it happen.  Let’s not deny you the pleasure of making your dream come true and build specific plans to achieve your goals!

Now that we got all that out of the way, what are some of the goals you are going to set for yourself to achieve, and how are you going to achieve them?

A little bit about Jord Wood Watches

This is my second Jord watch that I wear on a daily basis. They are unique in the design, and I love to pair it with most of my work outfits. One of my favorite things about Jord watches is that they arrive in exquisite packaging. If you’re still looking for a last minute holiday gift… pick a Jord watch today!

Jord Watch Cassia Ebony Watch

Wooden Wrist Watch

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Let me just say, planning a holiday party as an adult is so different than how it used to be when we were younger and single. In our early 20’s, music, alcohol, and some food were enough to kick off a party or to attract a crowd of people. Heck, if I’m totally being honest, maybe alcohol alone was enough, LOL.

But something changed between or 20’s and 30’s. Maybe it’s homeownership. Maybe it’s the multiple weddings we’ve gone to and our own wedding that we’ve planned. Maybe it’s the fact that #adulting is a thing and we need to take conscious effort towards mastering it. Hosting a holiday as a 30-something takes on a different level of planning and foresight. Not only do I want our guests to feel the holiday joy, enjoy great food and drinks, I’d love for our guests to leave our Holiday Friendsmas Party feeling a bit uplifted and inspired! So here’s how I planned our Holiday Friendsmas Party that’s coming up this weekend…

Start with a Holiday Party Invitation

This may be a result of having too much fun from planning our wedding back in March, but I LOVE getting personalized invitations designed and printed! When Basic Invite reached out to me to try out their customization service for holiday party cards, I knew I had to say yes!

Unique from other customized card printing service companies, Basic Invite provides customized card samples (with other companies you only receive standard/non-customized samples), over 180 colors in their card stocks, and 40 colors for envelope paper. For this holiday, Basic Invite is offering a 30% discount code holi30 for Cubicle Chic readers and their holiday card designing needs! They have other Christmas party invites and printed Christmas cards available if you are interested!

Plan & Prep the Menu in Advance

Once you’ve set your guest list and checked the holiday party invitation box, you’re ready to take the next step! I consulted with my most trusted homemaking friend, Martha Stewart and good ole Pinterest.

Prepping the main course for a 16 people party is hard work but looking online for menu options is actually quite enjoyable! Martha Stewart never disappoints with her suggestions:

Photo credit: Martha Stewart

Like we already mentioned above, alcoholic beverages (that look pretty) are key as well:

Photo credit: Such the Spot, Bunsen Burner Bakery, and Half Baked Harvest 

If you’re one of my 16 guests reading this, I hope you’re getting excited!

Keeping Your Guests Entertained

//Music//

This part of the planning is more for after the guests have arrived at your house. What music playlist are you using for this holiday season? My usual is Michael Bublé. But this year I’ve discovered a new artist whose Christmas songs I absolutely adore – Broadway musician Leslie Odom Jr. and his Simply Christmas album. If you like jazz, you will LOVE this album.

//Games for Kids//

Another unique thing about hosting holiday parties in your 30’s, is that more often than not you have little people on your invite list. I have the plan on keeping them entertained (more like occupied LOL). Pinterest offers lots of ideas on this front:

Photo credit: Play Party Plan, Playground Parkbench, Housing a Forest

Delegate If you Need To

Remember to keep the planning process fun for yourself too. No one wants a grumpy and exhausted host when they ring your doorbell! I have been playing Leslie Odom Jr.’s Simply Christmas album as I wrote this, it puts me in the holiday spirit and definitely made the writing process even more fun! Keep these tips in mind as you flesh out your plan:

• Have a potluck if you’d rather not cook for such a large group
• If you anticipate left-overs, remind guests to bring their own Tupperware
• If there are little things like paper plates, napkins, beers, and wine that you don’t have just yet, why not ask some of your guests to bring them?
• Email/phone everyone a week before to remind your guests of the party

That’s it! Tune into Instagram to see how my Holiday Friendsmas Party goes. I can’t wait!!

Disclaimer: This post is kindly sponsored by Basic Invite through compensation and provided me with the samples above at a very low cost to me. All review is based my experience and opinion.

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Updated 12/1, 7:04AM –> winners have been selected! If you see how I chose them, tune into my Instagram stories for the next 24 hours! It’s completely random… Google number randomizer was very helpful

As I wind down from a hectically busy and filled day from my day job to work on this post, I can’t help but feel so grateful for everything I have. Yes, I’m working against a tight deadline with a headache, an empty, growling stomach, and a neck pain from not sleeping well the night before. But I’m HERE. I’m sitting in this chair, typing on this Mac notebook, with an orange tabby cat named Miles sitting next to me. When this reality of where I am physically and mentally registers in my head, and I am instantly overcome with gratitude.

Why I’m so Grateful

They say people are not grateful because they’re happy, they’re happy because they’re grateful. I am a deep believer in the casual relationship between happiness and gratitude. I have a notebook where I write down on a regular basis things that I am thankful. And they aren’t always grand things. Sometimes things as little as the greenest of grass that reflects the light of dawn, the fast speed of my internet at work, the fact that my favorite TV show this season has 20 episodes, or the quick parking spot that I found on a trip to Target. I realized over time that practicing gratitude became a habit.

How Being Grateful Helps Me

When I am down, I have found counting blessings to be the quickest way to get myself back on my feet. This is why I’m writing this post today. With the holiday season in full swing, we tend to get swept up in the doing and forget about the thinking. I want to share this method with you and the 25 ordinary things that I’m grateful for and hopefully inspire you to practice gratitude in your life, too. I made sure these are things that are accessible to everyone and don’t require any special circumstances or a lot of money.

And if you’ve made it here… thank you for reading! At the bottom of this post, there is a giveaway waiting for you. I got two things that I’m very proud of sharing with you this Christmas season… read on and find out how to win!!

Ordinary things I’m thankful for:

1. A lucid mind to always learn new things
2. Clean air to breathe and clean water to drink pretty much 24/7
3. A job where I put my talent and skills to good use
4. The internet.
5. At least 10 new books with very interesting topics lying around for me to read anytime
6. Christmas lights the husband hung on the roof
7. Laminate flooring that doesn’t get dirty from cat vomit, footprints, or any spills whatsoever!
8. Immediate and extended families that I talk to almost every single day
9. Friends I’ve known for 10+ years who I share many inside jokes with
10. This $8 Riesling wine
11. This article from The Atlantic about China’s advancement in space exploration technologies and how it referenced the novelist Liu Cixin who wrote my favorite novels in 2017 The Three-Body Problem
12. Late night talks with friends about our culture, influence from our parents, how they influenced our beliefs and behavior and outlook on life.
13. The Vetoquinol pill wrap that makes giving medicine to my cat Lulu a breeze (highly recommend for anyone who has to go through the torture of giving pills to cats!)
14. The comfy throw that’s keeping me warm at the moment
15. The Dave Ramsey podcast. Here’s why I’m especially grateful for this, in case you’re curious
16. The Sound of Music movie. And the “My Favorite Things” song!
17. That moment when you crack open a can of carbonated drink.
18. Live plants & sunshine that I get in the office space
19. Target’s makeup aisle
20. Winter. And Snow. *This might be a Californian thing
21. Watering the succulents and plants in my backyard
22. The Magnolia Journal magazine by Joanna Gaines
23. Tea. All kinds of tea.
24. The health of my two cats, after a cancer diagnosis last month followed by chemotherapy
25. You, who are reading the 25^th item on this long list!

Now the giveaway!

Because I appreciate you, Cubicle Chic reader, I bought these two things on my own to share with you. To enter, simply subscribe to the Cubicle Chic newsletter (look for that pink box that says “Get More Cubicle Chic” on the top right of the home page!) and leave me a comment about which gift you want. If you’re already subscribed, leave a comment below and let me know about that in addition to your gift selection. I will do a random drawing at 8PM west coast time on Thursday and announce the winners (there will be two!) at the end of the day on November 30th!

Firstly, I have a David’s Tea Christmas Advent Calendar, currently sold out from David’s Tea! It’s got 25 boxes of tea in there, one for each day starting December 1! The other item is a book by Simon Sinek, who’s a speaker, author, the presenter of the most popular Ted Talk ever. It’s a book I personally draw inspiration from and have really enjoyed flipping through. It’s got a lot of pictures and very easy to read!

Cubicle Chic readers, I truly hope you like the gifts that I prepared this year. If I had the financial means, I would buy you ALL a gift. Maybe one day… when I make it as a full time blogger! But for now, please accept this token of appreciation I have. Merry early Christmas!

All photography by Natalie Alvarado @ Stylenfuse

The post  25 Ordinary Things I’m Extremely Grateful For || Holiday Giveaway Inside!! appeared first on Cubicle Chic.