No one knows better than Michael Scott about the importance of friendships! Friends joke with one another, right? (Maybe not so much about each other’s financial situation and mother’s health…) What we do know is that humor is the penicillin for all bad situations.

It’s especially important for the workplace. Between delivering results, meeting goals, getting along with unpleasant coworkers (or even worse, bosses), we don’t often leave a whole lot of mental energy to check on our sanity. Having the right kind of friends is the quickest way to maintain sanity in the work life. In today’s post, we will talk about the 4 types of friends that help you stay happy and sane at work.

Top & Jeans: c/o of Dailylook Elite; Handbag: c/o Palla A-Handbag; use “@cubicle_chic” for 15% off.

Top & Jeans: c/o of Dailylook Elite; Handbag: c/o Palla A-Handbag; use “@cubicle_chic” for 15% off.

4 types of friends that help you stay happy and sane at work.

1. The fellow victim

Whatever hardship, whoever the villain, when you spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week at any place, there will be times and people that make you wish you weren’t there. Whether be it a last-minute project lands on your place because no one wanted to touch it, a grumpy co-worker that has no boundary and holds your ears hostage for conversations you do not wish to have, or a sadistic boss that has no respect for your time…these are times when it makes things so much better if someone else is suffering with you. It’s not as much that the other person is also suffering, but that you aren’t alone in dealing with this misfortune.

You see, trying to explain what’s going on at work to someone else, such as a significant other, a family member, or a close friend, is like trying to sing a song through humming – it takes someone familiar with the issues to get it 100%. If you have a fellow coworker is going through the same exact issues as you are, a comradery automatically forms, and you have an instant alliance. That alone sometimes is the key to reducing perceived pain and difficulty caused by a particular work situation.

2. The sarcastic bitch

Along the same line as having a fellow victim, you need a sarcastic friend who isn’t afraid of being a bitch sometimes (towards your common enemy, not you). I should caveat this by saying that this has to be a sarcastic bitch who has a lot of empathy. This whole dynamic works based on her/his understanding of your situation and willingness (or natural tendency) to bitch at what/who is causing you pain at work. Simply put, this person is an active practitioner of empathy. We all know how venting works and it’s most effective when someone else is not only agreeing but chiming in. It’s also proven in studies that empathy in the workplace makes us happier and more productive.

3. The strategic mentor

If having the first two kinds of friends is how you deal with adverse situations passively, the strategic mentor is how you deal with the situations proactively. Once you’ve vented and moved on from the heat of the moment, it’s time to think about how to prevent the situation from occurring again, or how to deal with it better next time. Sure, more likely than not, what is within your power to improve the situation may be minimal, but this is where a strategic mentor comes in. A strategic mentor is, hopefully, someone a bit more seasoned than you are in the workforce, knows you well, has your benefit at heart, and isn’t afraid to tell you the truth. You need this person to analyze the situation for you with as little bias as possible. The best outcome in talking to a strategic mentor about an adverse situation at work is that you come out of it 1) feeling less bitter because you know you’re not at fault, or 2) feeling secure and comfortable in knowing how to prevent the situation again or how you need to improve in order to avoid such an event from happening again.

Top & Jeans: c/o of Dailylook Elite; Handbag: c/o Palla A-Handbag; use “@cubicle_chic” for 15% off.

Top & Jeans: c/o of Dailylook Elite; Handbag: c/o Palla A-Handbag; use “@cubicle_chic” for 15% off.

Top & Jeans: c/o of Dailylook Elite; Handbag: c/o Palla A-Handbag; use “@cubicle_chic” for 15% off.

4. The cat/dog lover or bearer of good food

There are a few things in life that put you in instant nirvana. Puppies, kittens, and good food are three of such things. Studies have shown that looking at puppies and kitten actually lowers blood pressure. If you’re a cat lover and you happen to have a coworker who is also a cat lover, the cat talk is so therapeutic on an otherwise busy and stressful workday. The occasional cute puppy/kitten GIFs that come through your email may have the same effects. Similarly, the ambiance of the entire office space can be lifted by a box of baked goods, a plate of lunch to be shared by the group or a bag of freshly harvested lemons from someone’s backyard. Don’t underestimate such little joys in life and the people that make them happen – they are increasing the quality of your work life without your conscious awareness.

Top & Jeans: c/o of Dailylook Elite; Handbag: c/o Palla A-Handbag; use “@cubicle_chic” for 15% off.

Conclusion

There you have it. The four kinds of friends at work that will keep you sane and make your work life better. If you already have these four friends, congratulations! Get them a nice token of appreciation when the next holiday comes around. If you don’t have these four friends, it’s time to start paying attention. I suggest trailing the smell of donuts next time you sense them at work. Find out who brought them, and chat up that person!

All photography by Natalie Alvarado @ Stylenufse

The post 4 Types of Work Friends That Keep You Sane appeared first on Cubicle Chic.

I started blogging in 2015. I’d never positioned my blog as a straight up fashion blog because it’s so much more than that. But I knew fresh and consistent fashion-related content was how I could most rapidly get people’s attention. In the beginning, I told myself I would go through my closet and style things that I already had, and only buy things from resale websites like Poshmark, i.e. things heavily discounted and sometimes pre-owned. Over time, I started going overboard with the shopping especially when the holiday seasons came around. You know how it goes… every corner you turn you see a cute “corporate holiday party dress. Slowly but surely, I progressed to buying things whenever there was a topic that could use a brand-new outfit. Over the first year of creating Cubicle Chic, I blazed through what I had in the bank and started piling up credit card debt. And it just kept going.

What was worse was my existing shopping condition. As many metropolitan professional women earning a decent income could relate (and as Cubicle Chic’s top banner may suggest), I have a weakness for luxury goods. There’s always been a tender spot in my heart for name brand stuff in that I can’t explain. Now, I can’t say that tendency is a thing of the past. What I can say though, is that I no longer impulse-buy “nice stuff” – designer bags/shoes/things that I don’t have a planned budget/saved up cash for. Currently, I do live somewhat of a reformed life, financially speaking.

How is this life reformed, you ask? Well, I have no debt (other than our mortgage) and I live with a budget that I share with my husband now, and every month I know exactly how much I’m supposed to spend in each category. I still go over in some categories occasionally but it’s done with control and comfort. This current financial stability is the result of a slow, arduous, and long transformation that took place from early 2015 to the present. During this time, I had moved in with my boyfriend (husband now), got engaged, planned a wedding, got married, and bought a house. This transformation was guided by my husband’s help in shaping my financial foundation and the teachings of a real personal finance guru, Dave Ramsey. As painful as it was, it was the only reason we managed to cash-flow the wedding and secure a good down payment for the purchase of a new house.

So, in my financially uneducated and uninformed days, starting a fashion blog really took a toll. A year into it, I had no savings to show for the hard work at my full-time job or my blog. My credit card debt fluctuated between a monthly balance of $2000-$5000. The worse part was that I didn’t even know I was on the verge of being broke.

All of this isn’t to say that having a fashion blog WILL ruin you financially. But blogging is not for the ignorant and the uninformed, which I totally was 2 years ago.

Here are 9 things about starting and having a fashion blog that pushed me further down the financial drain:

1. Keeping up with new trends

Keeping up with the Jones’ is real when every other person on Instagram is the Jones’. That new pair of Adidas sneakers, the new Celine bag, a new one-piece swimsuit, or a beach straw-bag.  Instagram fuels our shopping addiction, which is why companies paid $31 billion in the on Instagram ads in 2016 and continue to do so.  To avoid buying things I don’t need/won’t use for my blog, I now stick to a master editorial calendar. Because of it, I already know what I’m writing this month, next month, and the following month. If I catch myself wanting to buy something for blog content, I try to see how it’s going to fit into my editorial calendar. If it doesn’t fit, I don’t buy.

2. Paying for expensive photography

This is another topic that I can probably write a book on: how to find the right photographer for your blog. Creating visually pleasing aesthetics for a blog is so, so, so critical. Some people have photographer inclinations/skills/boyfriends/husbands which make this easier. For others, finding someone who understands your vision, is flexible with your schedule, and offers the right price is HARD TO FIND. I started out paying between $200-$400 for one photography session which consisted of about 90-120 minutes and 2-3 different outfits. That was definitely more than the industry standard for fashion blog photography. I was very happy with the result, but the cost was unsustainable and I quickly realized that. Over time, I met and worked with many other photographers and became more educated about pricing. At the same time, I learned to model better and learned what looked good for photos. To date, I’ve worked with almost 10 photographers. I have finally found my one and only photographer who I work with regularly now. She charges me a very reasonable price, is flexible with our shooting schedule and provides me just the right creative input to help me improve my overall aesthetics. I wish someone had taught me this before I started so I would’ve been more judicious about my blogging expense.

3. Creating an archive of outfits

I feel that as a blogger I need to showcase a suite of outfits that tailor to different events and functions. Like right now, I still feel like I need that power suit to round out my working professional wardrobe collection. I probably will get a power suit at some point when it makes sense for a post I’m writing or an event I’m attending, but not right now. The heart of this problem lies in the lack of organization and visibility of the stuff I already have. This Spring, I gave my closet an overhaul, i.e. throwing out stuff I didn’t wear anymore and getting re-acquainted with stuff I had but wasn’t wearing enough. That exercise allowed me to physically see that I already have an archive of good outfits.

4. Getting brands to notice me

Someone once told me the best way to approach a brand to collaborate is to show that you are already their user/fan. What brands are you already a fan of? So, I’ve internalized this philosophy and started telling myself “It’s okay to buy because I am trying out for myself before I can work with the brand.” This is a very dangerous path because I can literally justify anything I want to buy this way. Again, I’ve learned now to default to my editorial calendar to see if there’s even a reason to try the product. If it’s not aligned with my editorial calendar, I don’t buy.

5. Attending events

Almost two years into my blogging career, I’ve signed up for an event 5 times (PoshFest twice, The Collective once, Simply Stylish twice). The tickets on average cost about $90-$300 for each event. Going to events quickly turns into a money suck because I’d have to get my outfit ready, and for the first few events I was also trying to sort out my business card situation which cost money too. This year, I am only attending one event (Simply Stylist in July). I plan on being very responsible in how much I invest in the outfit for the event. The only other event that I will try to attend in the future is Create and Cultivate. It’s even more expensive (think $350+) but I know I will save up and pay cash for it.

6. Paying for online classes

If you’re reading online about how to improve your finances, chances are, you are a regular for online courses. I’ve taken online classes for business writing, blogging techniques, photography tips and tricks, SEO know-how, and the list goes on. It’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling like taking classes will be the answer to everything. Nowadays I try to find classes that are under $20. I also try to finish a class before I sign up for new ones. Psychologically speaking, paying for a class feels like progress. But I know that true progress doesn’t happen until I’ve implemented what I learn and see the impact.

7. The blogger discounts

If I had a dime every time a brand/company, instead of agreeing to collaborate with me, wants to give me a discount… Don’t get me wrong, I still appreciate their generosity. And given point #4 above, I used to give in more often than I should’ve. The truth is, if I have no need for the sponsor’s products and it doesn’t make sense for my editorial calendar, I shouldn’t buy it no matter how steep the discount is.

8. Paying for advertisement or loop giveaways

Aside from being desperate for more traffic as a new blogger, as a digital marketing professional, I told myself I needed to experiment with Google Adwords and Facebook ads, just to be able to say that I know how they work. In Christmas of 2015, I started a small Google Adwords campaign to promote the three outfits I created for Holiday Parties. Because of lack of experience at the time, the campaign cost me $250 before I found out about it. It got me maybe about 1000 clicks in total, but no one became a recurring reader. I quickly learned my lesson and never did it again.

There is also loop giveaways that Instagram influencers like to do. If you haven’t heard of it, this is what an Instagram Loop Giveaway. To date, I’ve joined 2 loop giveaways as an influencer. They were each about $30 for me to participate, and they earned me about 200-300 followers each time. This is really just a more glamorous and legitimate way of “buying followers”. I have not done one since then because the followers you get from loop giveaways drop you like it’s hot. It’s hard not to take the crazy amount of unfollowing that occurs at the end of the giveaway. I’ve learned to stay away.

9. Thinking fresh new purchase = fresh content

This is a real struggle for any content creator. When you are in a creative rut and can’t think of anything to talk about, it’s easy to believe that buying something new will provide inspiration for new content. Again, my counter mechanism is always to default to my editorial calendar. I also plan about 2-3 months ahead for content, so I have time to reach out to brands and pitch my topics to them.

Conclusion

Fashion blogging has increasingly become a legitimate profession. But behind the pretty pictures and written content is a lot of hard work and investment. I’m grateful for the learning experiences running my own blog has given me. But I also want to caution those of you out there that are considering starting a blog… Be prepared and ready for the expenses and don’t make the mistakes I made!

The post 9 Ways Fashion Blogging Ruined My Finances appeared first on Cubicle Chic.

Life’s been moving at the speed of light for me lately. All within the last 3 months, I quit a 6-figure job, got married, got into a nearly fatal car accident and totaled the car that I’d just paid off 2 months prior, bought our first house, and now about to move into that house. Throughout all these ups and downs, one of the constants that remained is my writing and blogging on Cubicle Chic. Since I’ve started freelancing, content ideas have been flowing and I’ve gotten quite a number of new collaborations.

This got me thinking…

Am I successful? Or at least… am I on the verge of being successful?

Well, let’s look at how conventional wisdom defines success:

·      Consumerism and American culture pretty dictate that success is material possession. Having a lot of “stuff” – a nice car, a big house, or expensive jewelry… means success.

·      Religious and spiritual teachings say that the state of contentment or a state of no more “wanting” is the ultimate goal.

·      In Corporate America, in the most black-and-white-no-gray-area way, success is defined by power and high positions.

But all of us can name at least one person in our life that has one of these things but still not happy, satisfied, or fulfilled.

Whether you’re on an uphill, downhill or a flat-out slump in life, I’m sure this question has crossed your mind about where this pursuit of success is supposed to lead you. When would you ever feel OK to not hustle and strife anymore, and would we ever be able to stop and pat ourselves on the back and admire our success, and just be content? It’s human to instinctively want to pursue success, but it’s also human to wonder just how to define success so we know we are “successful”?

So, what is success? How do we ever know we are “successful” and how do we define success?

Success is a process. Recognize the bits and pieces as it happens

If we recognize the state of pursuing success as a continuous process, we must admit that it isn’t about what happens at the very end, or the big bow that we’re able to put on this whole process. It’s about counting all forms of success like the way we are told to count our blessings. Success isn’t one big thing, it’s many small things. Finishing a marathon isn’t the only form of success, it’s the pre-training, the start of the race, the persevering in the last 3 miles, and crossing the finish line. Success only feels fleeting because we recognize it at the end and we forget to celebrate the beginning and the middle.

“It feels like we constantly chasing a goal and even after we reach it, we’re ready for something more. The chase seems to be what drives us more than the actual “prize.” This happens to millennials more often because we’ve grown up in a world of instant gratification— binge watching a show, order anything to be delivered, and even getting SAT scores instantly. These things make it difficult to grasp and enjoy success when it’s happening to us. To help me recognize my “success” and at the very least enjoy it more, I’ve been keeping a gratitude journal and each night I write down 3-5 things that went well that day and I’m grateful for. I do this because I’ve defined success as a process, and the process is that I’m moving forward so keeping a journal helps me with that.”- Lauren McGoodwin, Founder & CEO of Career Contessa

Success is being in the driver seat of your life and taking it wherever your heart desires

We know we’re supposed to “follow our dream” and “pursue our passion” but the truth is not all of us graduate college knowing what we want to do in life. And even for those of us who have a clear goal, we may not always be in the position (financial, education, resources, what have you) to pursue that goal.

So, whether you mentally will yourself to put in the work after your 9-5 to grow your blog (Cubicle Chic has been my after-work project for almost 2 years now!) or you have saved up from a salaried job so could afford to be unemployed and pursuing your true passion, or that you went through years of schooling to be able to work in a profession that you’ve had a calling to do, I would count these all as success.

“Success isn’t what you think you should do, rather, it’s following what you want to do. The biggest success in my eyes is using your talents and skills daily to achieve what your heart truly wants without thinking about society’s definition of prestige, wealth, and expectations. Crafting an ideal life you truly want to live is the ultimate definition of success. “ – Emily Liou, Career Coach and Founder of Cultivitae

Have your own measure of success

Social media has fundamentally changed our way of life. Most significantly, it changed the way information travels. We are now 100x times more aware of what people have accomplished, not only because people are more likely to flaunt it, but also because our eyes are peeled to our phones where such information is displayed.

How can we not look at our own wardrobe and feel like we need to buy one more dress when we see posts after posts of beautifully styled outfits? How can we not feel like we need to work harder when we see our college classmate getting a coveted promotion? How can we need feel like we need to renovate our kitchen when we see our neighbors brand new cooking space?

The answer is not letting others dictate what you want to create, own, or achieve. If you see someone else achieving something you want to achieve, understand where achieving those goals fit in your life. I’ve seen so many bloggers creating a blog for the wrong reasons – fame or quick money, and they get burned out so quickly because their goals they chase were never theirs. When you chase someone else’s goal, you tend to get lost in the process because you never fully understood the WHY. Have a goal, YOUR OWN goal, and know why you want to achieve this goal. That’s when the “chase” becomes meaningful and you don’t get burnt out.

 “From what I’ve learned, the perception of success comes from setting an aim and accomplishing it. Life is always changing and there are always going to be another aim or goal. Don’t ever think that you’ve done enough but don’t let that bring you down. There are always going to be people ten steps ahead of you but there are also going to be people ten steps behind you. It’s the nature of the business. I really believe in going at your own pace and running your own race in your own time. I’m still learning and don’t exactly feel “successful” but I feel satisfied with the progress I’m making so I guess that’s a kind of success!” – Sangyay Chen, Model and Blogger @ Itssangtime

There’s no such thing as a selfish success. True success is always a collective one.

This is one of my more recent realizations. It dawned on me that helping others makes me feel really good about myself, so good that I’d call that feeling successful. When I answer a reader’s question about salary negotiations, when I point someone who’s lost in their career in the right direction, when I help someone pick out a week’s worth of outfits for a really important conference… all of these things make me want to do more what I do on Cubicle Chic.

And being in a position to help others, to have materials to teach others, to me, is a success. Being successful means being willing and able to help others achieve their goals, and through that, help them become successful.

If you exclude others in your process of reaching success, you won’t feel successful.

“Success is a team sport and is only achieved by bringing others along on your journey and lifting others up to achieve their goals. “ – Kelly Hoey, Investor, Business Strategist, & Author of Build Your Dream Network 

Have you felt lost in the pursuit of success?

Remember, when you feel the urge to find the definition of success, just do the following:  1) recognize smaller successes because it’s not about the finish line, 2) know that if you’re actively pursuing success, you’re semi-successful, 3) pursue your own goals so the process of pursuit will feel meaningful, 4) help others succeed along the way. You don’t regret it!

All photography by Natalie Alvarado @ Stylenfuse

The post How To Define Success || 4 Theories From 4 Successful Business Women appeared first on Cubicle Chic.