This article was sponsored by Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company (MassMutual), Springfield, MA 01111-0001. www.massmutual.com All opinions are mine.

Influencer is a funny title. I have been one in the last few years. Then, I became a mom. This is when realized all moms are influencers because that is the direct relationship we have with our kids. I wrote about my hopes for baby Sophia and my promises to her in my last post, but I continue to think about who I want to be as a mom and our growing relationship. As Sophia turns 5 months old next month, I am becoming more and more conscious of my influence on her.

She is just starting to scrutinize me. I often find her fixating her gaze on my face with a slight furrow, and I can’t help but wonder what she’s thinking. She’s probably studying my every facial expression, my body language, and my interactions with others. Unlike mothers of boys, mothers of little girls provide something a bit different for their babies – how to be a woman. We are the first person to teach our daughters about how to conduct ourselves. What does it mean to be pretty and to be confident? How do you balance playing nice and being ambitious? What does it mean to be feminine and a feminist? As mothers of little girls, even if we don’t have answers ready, at the least we have to help them explore and develop the skills to answer these questions.

As I ponder how I could be the best role model for baby Sophia, I can’t help but feel incredibly indebted to my own mother, and the beliefs, attitudes, and strengths she’s passed onto me.

I inherited from my mom the passion to create, especially with words and phrases. My mom is a music teacher by training but her real strength lies in her dedication to what she believes in and her relentless efforts to commit to her goals. She is an award-winning author, famed educator, and an expert farmer/gardener. But most importantly, she is a loving mom that does whatever is the best for her children and does it to the best of her abilities. When I think about my professional self, the strong woman that can stand up to people for what I believe in, the woman that isn’t afraid to charge forward amidst difficulties, I give my mom all the credit. It wasn’t like she ever sat me down and told me I have to take myself and my career seriously, that hard work pays off, and goals are important. She has simply lived that life. She had inspired me to do seek out ways to take my career seriously, work hard, and set goals. They say parenting is caught and not taught. There is a lot of truth in that saying.

Parenting is a quest of never-ending striving and learning. As a mom, I have the burden but also the honor of modeling for another woman to uncover the power within her. I find that to be an incredible blessing.

A special thank you to MassMutual for partnering with me in this post. Find out more about what it means to live mutual and how MassMutual celebrates unsung heroes in our communities at https://www.massmutual.com/cm/theunsung

The post A Special Blessing – The Mother-Daughter Relationship appeared first on Cubicle Chic.

Blazer: Dailylook; Dress: Everlane via Nordstrom; Bag: Banana Republic Slouch Tote on sale for $75 now; Sunglasses: Perverse Sunglasses Twiggy

I recently re-read an article I wrote earlier this Spring when I almost died in a car accident. It pulled me back into the reflective mood I was in when I wrote the piece, thinking about how short life can be. It also got me thinking about how grateful I am for the life I have now.

I have had some bumps in the road in my 32-year-old life, but I have by no means lived a tough life. Yet, when I was in my 20’s, I was rarely content. I wished I was someone else. I wished I looked different. I wanted things I didn’t deserve. I sometimes loathed myself, who I was. I struggled mentally and I had major body image issues. There were ups and downs, but the downs defined who I was.

Blazer: Dailylook; Dress: Everlane via Nordstrom; Bag: Banana Republic Slouch Tote on sale for $75 now; Heels: Topshop Fringe Sandals

Something changed within me in my late 20’s. Through friends and family, books I read, new interests I developed, places I traveled to, I became a better version of myself. I starting having more confidence. I started caring less about others’ opinion. I became more self-aware but less self-conscious. I developed a better sense of my SELF, a better sense of my identity. I started to be at peace with myself.  I began accepting and embracing my imperfections. 

Sunglasses: Perverse Sunglasses Twiggy; Blazer: Dailylook; Dress: Everlane via Nordstrom; Bag: Banana Republic Slouch Tote on sale for $75 now

Sometimes, I wish I could go back in time and share what I know now with my younger self. I would tell my 20-something self to…

Stay in the present. Because that’s all you can control.

It was through yoga and meditation that I learned the importance of being present. I’m no expert at either, but I’ve had moments of clarity and relief that comes from focusing my mind on the present. I learned that if you’re depressed, you’re stuck in the past. If you’re anxious, you’re too worried about the future. You can’t change what happened yesterday, but you can try to have a better day today.

Sunglasses: Perverse Sunglasses Twiggy; Dress: Everlane via Nordstrom; Bag: Banana Republic Slouch Tote

Love yourself first. Because you deserve it.

Also because asking or waiting for others to love you is just too much work. Don’t bend yourself backward to make someone love you. You are already lovable! You just have to love yourself first.

Take the time to get to know yourself. Because that’s who’s responsible for your well-being & happiness

In your 30’s is when a lot of life commitments happen if they haven’t already. Long-term relationships, the prime years of your career, or kids. Not everyone will know what their passion is or what they’re called to do in life. But knowing what fuels you vs. what drains your energy, what excites you vs. what you dread will help you steer your life in your 30’s. Designing Your Life is a great resource to figure this out if you’re wanting some direction in life. It’s one of my favorite books in 2017.

Sunglasses: Perverse Sunglasses Twiggy; Dress: Everlane via Nordstrom

Try new things and develop new interests. Because you may not have the time and energy to later.

I saw some of my friends moved from hobbies to hobbies. Today, it’s bowling; tomorrow, it may be archery. I always thought they were looking for something to fill a void that they had. And maybe there’s some truth to that. But looking back, I wish I did more of exploring when it comes to what I do in my leisure time. Because it’s a luxury to have something you can just lose yourself in doing (video game, drugs, and eating cupcakes don’t count). And the more hobbies you try and develop a long-term interest in, the more things you have at your disposal to relax, recharge, and find your balance. Which are oh-so-important when you’re juggling career, mortgage, and a family in your 30’s.

Blazer: Dailylook; Sunglasses: Perverse Sunglasses Twiggy; Dress: Everlane via Nordstrom; Bag: Banana Republic Slouch Tote

Accept the mistakes you make. Because mistakes help you learn.

There were things I did in my 20’s that I wish I could do-over. Sometimes I do wish I could go back in time and change my approach, my attitude, and the way I treated people. But I can’t. Instead, what I CAN do is to remind myself what I learned. I can remind myself what it was like when I hurt or disappointed people. I can carry those feelings and never do it again.

All photography by Natalie Alvarado @ Stylenfuse 

The post Things I Learned In My 30’s That I Wish I Knew In My 20’s appeared first on Cubicle Chic.