Life’s been moving at the speed of light for me lately. All within the last 3 months, I quit a 6-figure job, got married, got into a nearly fatal car accident and totaled the car that I’d just paid off 2 months prior, bought our first house, and now about to move into that house. Throughout all these ups and downs, one of the constants that remained is my writing and blogging on Cubicle Chic. Since I’ve started freelancing, content ideas have been flowing and I’ve gotten quite a number of new collaborations.

This got me thinking…

Am I successful? Or at least… am I on the verge of being successful?

Well, let’s look at how conventional wisdom defines success:

·      Consumerism and American culture pretty dictate that success is material possession. Having a lot of “stuff” – a nice car, a big house, or expensive jewelry… means success.

·      Religious and spiritual teachings say that the state of contentment or a state of no more “wanting” is the ultimate goal.

·      In Corporate America, in the most black-and-white-no-gray-area way, success is defined by power and high positions.

But all of us can name at least one person in our life that has one of these things but still not happy, satisfied, or fulfilled.

Whether you’re on an uphill, downhill or a flat-out slump in life, I’m sure this question has crossed your mind about where this pursuit of success is supposed to lead you. When would you ever feel OK to not hustle and strife anymore, and would we ever be able to stop and pat ourselves on the back and admire our success, and just be content? It’s human to instinctively want to pursue success, but it’s also human to wonder just how to define success so we know we are “successful”?

So, what is success? How do we ever know we are “successful” and how do we define success?

Success is a process. Recognize the bits and pieces as it happens

If we recognize the state of pursuing success as a continuous process, we must admit that it isn’t about what happens at the very end, or the big bow that we’re able to put on this whole process. It’s about counting all forms of success like the way we are told to count our blessings. Success isn’t one big thing, it’s many small things. Finishing a marathon isn’t the only form of success, it’s the pre-training, the start of the race, the persevering in the last 3 miles, and crossing the finish line. Success only feels fleeting because we recognize it at the end and we forget to celebrate the beginning and the middle.

“It feels like we constantly chasing a goal and even after we reach it, we’re ready for something more. The chase seems to be what drives us more than the actual “prize.” This happens to millennials more often because we’ve grown up in a world of instant gratification— binge watching a show, order anything to be delivered, and even getting SAT scores instantly. These things make it difficult to grasp and enjoy success when it’s happening to us. To help me recognize my “success” and at the very least enjoy it more, I’ve been keeping a gratitude journal and each night I write down 3-5 things that went well that day and I’m grateful for. I do this because I’ve defined success as a process, and the process is that I’m moving forward so keeping a journal helps me with that.”- Lauren McGoodwin, Founder & CEO of Career Contessa

Success is being in the driver seat of your life and taking it wherever your heart desires

We know we’re supposed to “follow our dream” and “pursue our passion” but the truth is not all of us graduate college knowing what we want to do in life. And even for those of us who have a clear goal, we may not always be in the position (financial, education, resources, what have you) to pursue that goal.

So, whether you mentally will yourself to put in the work after your 9-5 to grow your blog (Cubicle Chic has been my after-work project for almost 2 years now!) or you have saved up from a salaried job so could afford to be unemployed and pursuing your true passion, or that you went through years of schooling to be able to work in a profession that you’ve had a calling to do, I would count these all as success.

“Success isn’t what you think you should do, rather, it’s following what you want to do. The biggest success in my eyes is using your talents and skills daily to achieve what your heart truly wants without thinking about society’s definition of prestige, wealth, and expectations. Crafting an ideal life you truly want to live is the ultimate definition of success. “ – Emily Liou, Career Coach and Founder of Cultivitae

Have your own measure of success

Social media has fundamentally changed our way of life. Most significantly, it changed the way information travels. We are now 100x times more aware of what people have accomplished, not only because people are more likely to flaunt it, but also because our eyes are peeled to our phones where such information is displayed.

How can we not look at our own wardrobe and feel like we need to buy one more dress when we see posts after posts of beautifully styled outfits? How can we not feel like we need to work harder when we see our college classmate getting a coveted promotion? How can we need feel like we need to renovate our kitchen when we see our neighbors brand new cooking space?

The answer is not letting others dictate what you want to create, own, or achieve. If you see someone else achieving something you want to achieve, understand where achieving those goals fit in your life. I’ve seen so many bloggers creating a blog for the wrong reasons – fame or quick money, and they get burned out so quickly because their goals they chase were never theirs. When you chase someone else’s goal, you tend to get lost in the process because you never fully understood the WHY. Have a goal, YOUR OWN goal, and know why you want to achieve this goal. That’s when the “chase” becomes meaningful and you don’t get burnt out.

 “From what I’ve learned, the perception of success comes from setting an aim and accomplishing it. Life is always changing and there are always going to be another aim or goal. Don’t ever think that you’ve done enough but don’t let that bring you down. There are always going to be people ten steps ahead of you but there are also going to be people ten steps behind you. It’s the nature of the business. I really believe in going at your own pace and running your own race in your own time. I’m still learning and don’t exactly feel “successful” but I feel satisfied with the progress I’m making so I guess that’s a kind of success!” – Sangyay Chen, Model and Blogger @ Itssangtime

There’s no such thing as a selfish success. True success is always a collective one.

This is one of my more recent realizations. It dawned on me that helping others makes me feel really good about myself, so good that I’d call that feeling successful. When I answer a reader’s question about salary negotiations, when I point someone who’s lost in their career in the right direction, when I help someone pick out a week’s worth of outfits for a really important conference… all of these things make me want to do more what I do on Cubicle Chic.

And being in a position to help others, to have materials to teach others, to me, is a success. Being successful means being willing and able to help others achieve their goals, and through that, help them become successful.

If you exclude others in your process of reaching success, you won’t feel successful.

“Success is a team sport and is only achieved by bringing others along on your journey and lifting others up to achieve their goals. “ – Kelly Hoey, Investor, Business Strategist, & Author of Build Your Dream Network 

Have you felt lost in the pursuit of success?

Remember, when you feel the urge to find the definition of success, just do the following:  1) recognize smaller successes because it’s not about the finish line, 2) know that if you’re actively pursuing success, you’re semi-successful, 3) pursue your own goals so the process of pursuit will feel meaningful, 4) help others succeed along the way. You don’t regret it!

All photography by Natalie Alvarado @ Stylenfuse

The post How To Define Success || 4 Theories From 4 Successful Business Women appeared first on Cubicle Chic.

Ever since I went to PoshFest 2015 last year with no entourage and ended up making a bunch of lasting friendships, I feel like I’ve conquered networking, the fear of talking to successful, possibly intimidating, people doesn’t deter me from making connections anymore. So when I saw that Career Contessa was having this “Interview Do’s and Don’ts” net working event, I signed up without thinking twice.

P.S. A side note about Career Contessa in case you didn’t know about them. Think professional career focused Refinery29 customized for professional women, and with insight and guidance like ones seen on Glassdoor.com and Salary.com. The Career Contessa company tagline is ““A career resource for women who want more and are daring enough to get it.” I’ve been a Career Contessa reader since early 2015 and their content has become SO insightful and so in-depth. My recent favorite is a article on salary growth of a VP in Marketing and how he/she went from making 45K to 156K in 10 years.

 Job Search Do’s and Don’ts by Career Contessa and Six Degree Society Photo by Kathrina Sio  Job Search Do’s and Don’ts by Career Contessa and Six Degree Society Photo by Kathrina Sio

Initially, what attracted me to this event was the impressive line-up of panelist: recruiters from Nasty Gal, Hulu, and Glassdoor dishing out insider information on how interviewers can succeed during job searches. What I didn’t know about, was how awesome the “curated networking” which was the work of Six Degree Society, was going to turn out.

I am going into the 8th year of my professional career, and I’ve gone to a lot of networking events. I have not gone to one with such nicely established structure for attendees to engage with each other, without awkward games or artificial conversations. I was paired with Amber and Natalie, who both have digital media experience and ambition to do great things in their content creation journey. (I also met Connie, not through the pairing but just good ole networking). Six Degree Society studied carefully the bio I provided and paired me with people who share similar or complementary experience or skill sets as me. My conversation with Amber and Natalie felt naturally engaging and we all learned so much from one another. In fact, I already know there will be collaborations on the horizon with these #girlbosses soon!

Besides the free drinks, awesome freebies, and all the socializing, I learned a few things that were pretty surprising (to me at least):

1) Treat your recruiter as your best advocate. They want you to succeed almost as much as you do! Be transparent with them, be comfortable with them, and count on them.

2) Don’t show up too early for an interview. Thirty minutes is too early; try arriving there 15-5 minutes beforehand. If you’re early, chill in your car or a coffee shop.

3) Have the salary conversation earlier in the interview process rather than later. Do it in a tactful way. You don’t always have to reveal your current salary level (my personal opinion is that you should never disclose this info), but this is to make sure your desired salary range matches the company’s budget.

4) Men and women have very different negotiation tactics; men tend to be more fact based in their negotiations, and women tend to list more emotionally based reasons. Whether you’re a man or woman, approach this subject with your worth (based on your experience and public data) and not personal reasons or life circumstances.

What are your interview must-do’s and must-not-do’s? If you’re an interviewer, what’s your biggest pet peeve?

The post 4 Secrets I Learned From A Job Search Networking Event appeared first on Cubicle Chic.

Last week we talked about how to stay graceful and chic when traveling through airports. Staying along the same line of traveling, and more specifically, traveling for business, I want to talk about one of the easiest Staying along the same line of traveling, and more specifically, traveling for business, I want to talk about one of the easiest piece to get in and out of when you’re getting ready for business meetings!

Psst… this ASOS piece is STILL AVAILABLE AND 50% off now!!! GET IT BEFORE IT RUNS OUT!!

So whether you’re going in the office and looking for a simple fail-safe outfit, or looking for something you can slip on quickly after you’ve landed in your business trip destination, this dress is it!

My favorite feature of it is how flattering it is without making you too curve-conscious. It has a ring on the left side of the wrap, and on the right is the piece of tie that loops through the ring to tie the dress together. It’s very comfortable, and do you see that slit there?? It makes the dress more interesting and adds just a little bit of sexiness!

 Dress: Asos Soft Wrap Pencil Dress with D-Ring  Dress: Asos Soft Wrap Pencil Dress with D-Ring  Dress: Asos Soft Wrap Pencil Dress with D-Ring

All photography by Arielle Levy

I’m headed to Boston next week for another business trip. I am looking forward to being in downtown Boston for business! Are any of you from the area?

The post Easy & Chic Wrap Dress for Business Occasions appeared first on Cubicle Chic.

“Didn’t I just wear this last week?“

With the confines of dressing professionally and appropriately, (let’s face it – if it was up to me I’d be rocking ripped jeans everyday) it’s not a walk in a park to always look polished & presentable, at the same time showing creativity in your outfit creation. I try to solve the problem by sticking with basic neutrals that could go with everything else I own, so I don’t have to brainstorm (more like brain-hurricane) in the morning as I get ready. Still, a slight problem still exists, which is that I end up creating really similar outfits or just gravitating toward the same piece over and over again. There are 5 work days a week is about 260 work days a year. Who has that much time to create 260 different looks?!

This is where the Third Piece Rule comes in handy. In case you haven’t heard, the Third Piece Rule is the wardrobe philosophy that adding a “third piece”, whether be it a statement necklace (any bold accessories) or an outerwear like a vest or a blazer, instantly makes the ensemble more elevated and interesting.  You can read all about it here.

Here, I am using a statement necklace to add instant glam to this office outfit that is otherwise a bit lackluster.

I did want to give a mention to the brand that makes this particular necklace I am wearing. It’s a Florida based company called Mirina Collections . They make a ton of these beautiful statement necklaces that are unique and obviously glamorous. I was offered a couple of pieces from their “Famous Necklace” collection at a discounted price to try out (about 50%), and in return they had asked me to give them a shout out on Instagram, which I did. In my opinion the retail price for these necklaces is a bit steep for the actual quality of the pieces (even though they claim to hand make all the pieces). But at the discounted price, they were worth every penny. Would you like to see more of how I style these Mirina Collections necklaces? Let me know

Top: Alice and Olivia (similar here)
Necklace: “Jess” by Mirina Collections
Bottom: Top Shop Leigh jeans
Blazer: Top Shop Nicola Peplum Blazer (similar here)

All Photography by Brianna Olsen

The post The Third Piece Rule & what it means for the Cubicle Chic appeared first on Cubicle Chic.