There are the obvious benefits of having a mentor – someone who shows you the ropes, helps with career planning and guidance, is there to offer advice when you encounter problems. But…

But if this is all your mentor provides for you, you might have what I call a “basic mentor.” Finding a basic mentor, or any mentor for that matter, is not an easy task. Finding a great mentor, though? Flat out difficult.

Here are some signs that your mentor is more than basic.

5 TRAITS OF A GREAT MENTOR

1) THEY HELP YOU DISCOVER YOUR PROFESSIONAL STRENGTHS

If your mentor knows you well enough and happens to work in the same organization as you do, they should be able to observe you, your performance, and your impact. Over time, this gives them the advantage to pinpoint where you’ve made the biggest contribution, and guide you on how to hone in on those skill sets involved. Even if they don’t work in your office, they should regularly ask you the kinds of pointed, critical questions that force you to assess your own work and professional style. A great mentor won’t tell you what to do—they’ll help you think critically.

2) AND POINT YOU TOWARD CAREER RESOURCES THAT WILL CHALLENGE AND DEVELOP YOU

As a continuation of knowing your strength, a great mentor will regularly suggest how and where to find resources to develop yourself. Working on public speaking? “Try Toastmasters or Amy Cuddy’s latest book.” Need help with manipulating large amount of data that Excel can’t handle? “Look into Tableau.” Part of what makes a good mentor is the mentor’s own ability to keep up with technologies and latest resources for refining a trade and continuous self-improvement. Look for someone who’s eager and curious about their work and industry and who loves to share.

3) THEY’RE YOUR DEVIL’S ADVOCATE AND BIGGEST CHEERLEADER (AT THE SAME TIME)

One of the most valuable things a mentor can do with is to help you evaluate your options when you hit a “fork” in your career path and need to make a decision. A good mentor will help expand your thinking and make sure your thought processes cover as many aspects of your life, professional and personal, as possible. They’ll ask the toughest questions. And when you’ve made a decision, they will support you and cheer you on.

4) THEY GIVE YOU HONEST AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM

Receiving and giving criticism is an art form, to say the least. We all have cringe-worthy memories of giving or receiving criticism. If done well, though, it takes mentorship from good to great. This step requires a mutually trusting relationship between you and your mentor—it takes you being open and vulnerable, and your mentor being honest and tactful.

5) THEY GROW WITH YOU

This is probably the most difficult aspect to cultivate in a mentorship if it doesn’t spontaneously develop over time. The truth is that people change. We hear the same thing about romantic relationships, in which two partners have to be open and honest about the changes in their thinking, beliefs, strengths, and weaknesses. A good mentor has to be aware of your growth and his or her own growth. This means there may be a time, when your needs as a mentee evolve beyond their capacity as a mentor. Or there may also be a time when your mentor is taking on new challenges in their life, where you can reverse the roles and for you to offer up advice. Again, this takes a strong foundation in your relationship and a ton of trust. The goal here is to evolve with each other.

MY PERSONAL STORY

Why do I know all of this? It comes from years of having a great mentorship. This mentorship started with me being hired into my first job right after graduate school in 2011. That was the first time this mentorship changed my career—actually, it essentially started it! My mentor was my then boss and hiring manager. Two years into this job as a temp, after pushing mountains (i.e. a 6-month hiring freeze) for me, I was converted to a full-time employee. This was the second time my mentor “saved” me. And earlier this year, I was given the opportunity to take on a new role, and this opportunity was offered by the same mentor. In hindsight, if it wasn’t for this opportunity, it’s highly possible that I would’ve gotten laid off. Needless to say, I am extremely grateful.

HOW TO FIND YOUR OWN GREAT MENTOR

Much has been written on the topic of how to find a mentor (by Huffington Post, LinkedIn, and Refinery 29, to name a few), and they’re certainly a great place to start. But you also have to consider why you want a mentor, and how having a mentor will change you and your career.

This brings me to a very critical component of mentorship—your effort. A great mentor goes out of their way to ensure the success of their mentee. But that relationship can only exist because the mentees seek and prepare. Like most things, the amount of energy you invest will contribute to what you actually get out of your mentorship. Without preparation and effort, mentorship devolves into a series of handshakes and stiff meetings—nothing more.

SOME TIPS

• If you’re on track with your career path, start with who you know. Do you have a more senior coworker who you admire or a boss? See if they’d grab a cup of coffee with you to discuss their own career.
• If you’re not sure where you want your career to go—consider informational interviews. They’re a great way to network and learn about an industry that interests you.  [link to our informational interviews 101 piece]
• Attend networking events, then actually follow up with people who you found inspiring. See if they’ll meet you for a drink or coffee. If it’s a good fit, stay on top of communicating with them regularly.
• Try Career Contessa’s Hire a Mentor platform. This is kind of a cheat, but hey, there’s nothing wrong with finding a shortcut. You can pick the mentor that best fits your professional path and interests, then book a one-on-one session to kickstart a job search or plan some career goals.

(This article was published on Career Contessa on 9/5/2016)

I’d like to hear about your mentorship stories! Whether you are a mentor or a mentee, share away!

The post 5 Hidden Benefits of Having a Great Mentor & How to Find one on your own appeared first on Cubicle Chic.

Ever since I went to PoshFest 2015 last year with no entourage and ended up making a bunch of lasting friendships, I feel like I’ve conquered networking, the fear of talking to successful, possibly intimidating, people doesn’t deter me from making connections anymore. So when I saw that Career Contessa was having this “Interview Do’s and Don’ts” net working event, I signed up without thinking twice.

P.S. A side note about Career Contessa in case you didn’t know about them. Think professional career focused Refinery29 customized for professional women, and with insight and guidance like ones seen on Glassdoor.com and Salary.com. The Career Contessa company tagline is ““A career resource for women who want more and are daring enough to get it.” I’ve been a Career Contessa reader since early 2015 and their content has become SO insightful and so in-depth. My recent favorite is a article on salary growth of a VP in Marketing and how he/she went from making 45K to 156K in 10 years.

 Job Search Do’s and Don’ts by Career Contessa and Six Degree Society Photo by Kathrina Sio  Job Search Do’s and Don’ts by Career Contessa and Six Degree Society Photo by Kathrina Sio

Initially, what attracted me to this event was the impressive line-up of panelist: recruiters from Nasty Gal, Hulu, and Glassdoor dishing out insider information on how interviewers can succeed during job searches. What I didn’t know about, was how awesome the “curated networking” which was the work of Six Degree Society, was going to turn out.

I am going into the 8th year of my professional career, and I’ve gone to a lot of networking events. I have not gone to one with such nicely established structure for attendees to engage with each other, without awkward games or artificial conversations. I was paired with Amber and Natalie, who both have digital media experience and ambition to do great things in their content creation journey. (I also met Connie, not through the pairing but just good ole networking). Six Degree Society studied carefully the bio I provided and paired me with people who share similar or complementary experience or skill sets as me. My conversation with Amber and Natalie felt naturally engaging and we all learned so much from one another. In fact, I already know there will be collaborations on the horizon with these #girlbosses soon!

Besides the free drinks, awesome freebies, and all the socializing, I learned a few things that were pretty surprising (to me at least):

1) Treat your recruiter as your best advocate. They want you to succeed almost as much as you do! Be transparent with them, be comfortable with them, and count on them.

2) Don’t show up too early for an interview. Thirty minutes is too early; try arriving there 15-5 minutes beforehand. If you’re early, chill in your car or a coffee shop.

3) Have the salary conversation earlier in the interview process rather than later. Do it in a tactful way. You don’t always have to reveal your current salary level (my personal opinion is that you should never disclose this info), but this is to make sure your desired salary range matches the company’s budget.

4) Men and women have very different negotiation tactics; men tend to be more fact based in their negotiations, and women tend to list more emotionally based reasons. Whether you’re a man or woman, approach this subject with your worth (based on your experience and public data) and not personal reasons or life circumstances.

What are your interview must-do’s and must-not-do’s? If you’re an interviewer, what’s your biggest pet peeve?

The post 4 Secrets I Learned From A Job Search Networking Event appeared first on Cubicle Chic.