No one knows better than Michael Scott about the importance of friendships! Friends joke with one another, right? (Maybe not so much about each other’s financial situation and mother’s health…) What we do know is that humor is the penicillin for all bad situations.

It’s especially important for the workplace. Between delivering results, meeting goals, getting along with unpleasant coworkers (or even worse, bosses), we don’t often leave a whole lot of mental energy to check on our sanity. Having the right kind of friends is the quickest way to maintain sanity in the work life. In today’s post, we will talk about the 4 types of friends that help you stay happy and sane at work.

Top & Jeans: c/o of Dailylook Elite; Handbag: c/o Palla A-Handbag; use “@cubicle_chic” for 15% off.

Top & Jeans: c/o of Dailylook Elite; Handbag: c/o Palla A-Handbag; use “@cubicle_chic” for 15% off.

4 types of friends that help you stay happy and sane at work.

1. The fellow victim

Whatever hardship, whoever the villain, when you spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week at any place, there will be times and people that make you wish you weren’t there. Whether be it a last-minute project lands on your place because no one wanted to touch it, a grumpy co-worker that has no boundary and holds your ears hostage for conversations you do not wish to have, or a sadistic boss that has no respect for your time…these are times when it makes things so much better if someone else is suffering with you. It’s not as much that the other person is also suffering, but that you aren’t alone in dealing with this misfortune.

You see, trying to explain what’s going on at work to someone else, such as a significant other, a family member, or a close friend, is like trying to sing a song through humming – it takes someone familiar with the issues to get it 100%. If you have a fellow coworker is going through the same exact issues as you are, a comradery automatically forms, and you have an instant alliance. That alone sometimes is the key to reducing perceived pain and difficulty caused by a particular work situation.

2. The sarcastic bitch

Along the same line as having a fellow victim, you need a sarcastic friend who isn’t afraid of being a bitch sometimes (towards your common enemy, not you). I should caveat this by saying that this has to be a sarcastic bitch who has a lot of empathy. This whole dynamic works based on her/his understanding of your situation and willingness (or natural tendency) to bitch at what/who is causing you pain at work. Simply put, this person is an active practitioner of empathy. We all know how venting works and it’s most effective when someone else is not only agreeing but chiming in. It’s also proven in studies that empathy in the workplace makes us happier and more productive.

3. The strategic mentor

If having the first two kinds of friends is how you deal with adverse situations passively, the strategic mentor is how you deal with the situations proactively. Once you’ve vented and moved on from the heat of the moment, it’s time to think about how to prevent the situation from occurring again, or how to deal with it better next time. Sure, more likely than not, what is within your power to improve the situation may be minimal, but this is where a strategic mentor comes in. A strategic mentor is, hopefully, someone a bit more seasoned than you are in the workforce, knows you well, has your benefit at heart, and isn’t afraid to tell you the truth. You need this person to analyze the situation for you with as little bias as possible. The best outcome in talking to a strategic mentor about an adverse situation at work is that you come out of it 1) feeling less bitter because you know you’re not at fault, or 2) feeling secure and comfortable in knowing how to prevent the situation again or how you need to improve in order to avoid such an event from happening again.

Top & Jeans: c/o of Dailylook Elite; Handbag: c/o Palla A-Handbag; use “@cubicle_chic” for 15% off.

Top & Jeans: c/o of Dailylook Elite; Handbag: c/o Palla A-Handbag; use “@cubicle_chic” for 15% off.

Top & Jeans: c/o of Dailylook Elite; Handbag: c/o Palla A-Handbag; use “@cubicle_chic” for 15% off.

4. The cat/dog lover or bearer of good food

There are a few things in life that put you in instant nirvana. Puppies, kittens, and good food are three of such things. Studies have shown that looking at puppies and kitten actually lowers blood pressure. If you’re a cat lover and you happen to have a coworker who is also a cat lover, the cat talk is so therapeutic on an otherwise busy and stressful workday. The occasional cute puppy/kitten GIFs that come through your email may have the same effects. Similarly, the ambiance of the entire office space can be lifted by a box of baked goods, a plate of lunch to be shared by the group or a bag of freshly harvested lemons from someone’s backyard. Don’t underestimate such little joys in life and the people that make them happen – they are increasing the quality of your work life without your conscious awareness.

Top & Jeans: c/o of Dailylook Elite; Handbag: c/o Palla A-Handbag; use “@cubicle_chic” for 15% off.

Conclusion

There you have it. The four kinds of friends at work that will keep you sane and make your work life better. If you already have these four friends, congratulations! Get them a nice token of appreciation when the next holiday comes around. If you don’t have these four friends, it’s time to start paying attention. I suggest trailing the smell of donuts next time you sense them at work. Find out who brought them, and chat up that person!

All photography by Natalie Alvarado @ Stylenufse

The post 4 Types of Work Friends That Keep You Sane appeared first on Cubicle Chic.

Arbitrary or not, most would agree that the six-figure salary is a significant milestone. For many white-collar professionals, a 6-figure salary is something to strive for amongst getting a C suite title, having a corner office, managing a big team, etc.  In fact, in 2017, the average annual income of 25-to-34-year-old Americans was $40K, and the average 35-44 year-olds made $50K (CNBC Money). What is somewhat depressing is that after this age bracket, annual income basically stays the same until the retirement age of 65 and it plummets to $47K. So, the average group of Americans don’t ever make a 6-figure salary in their lifetime.

My Humble Beginning

When I began my marketing career back in late 2000’s, I had an annual salary in the $50K range. On average, that is a decent starting salary. But being in California, having just gotten my MBA and seeing where my classmates had landed salary-wise, it did not feel like a high salary in any way. Over the next few years, with a couple of job change and promotions, my salary slowly increased to the 60K range. Then the 70K range. And then it plateaued here for a few years.

And Then It Happened

I was OVER THE MOON when I received the job offer back in September 2016 that finally brought my salary into the 6-figure range. Imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and overall disbelief all aside, it was a yuuuuuge (lol) confidence boost. Additionally, my fiancé and I were planning a wedding at the time, so we knew the increase in my salary was going to be a big help. Yet amongst all things, I was really surprised at the thoughts that receiving this offer and having this $6000+ (after tax) a month salary trigged in me.  I never thought these were the things that would surface when I got a 6-figure salary offer.

The first thought that followed “I got the job” was “what am I going to buy myself as the reward?”

Old (bad) habits die hard. This is how I’ve equated any success in my adult life to – the materialistic reward that I’d allow myself to indulge in afterward. It almost makes sense on some levels: “I make more now, I can buy more.” Right? It’s so scary that this was how my brain had been wired for years. When I have the financial means, the first place my thoughts went to was how I could spend my money on materialistic things, and not pay off debt, not increase retirement savings, not increase investments. In hindsight, after I’ve taken the journey to become a more financially responsible person, it’s frightening to face my old habits up close and personal.

I was actually able to shorten the pay-back plan of my car loan.

When I was in debt, I’d stare at my Mint account with the amount of debt I had and silently wish to myself “If only I win the lottery tomorrow or have some kind of windfall of money. That would wipe this all off and I can start anew!” This job offer with the 6-figure salary was exactly that. My car payment at the time was $680 a month. I can’t help but CRINGE at that figure now that car payments are out of my life for good. With the increase in salary, I was done with my car payment within 5 months. This 6-figure salary actually helped me pay off my car loan sooner than I’d thought!

It gave me the confidence I needed to progress in my career  

I generally don’t like talking about things like “imposter syndrome” because I think people (women) have the tendency to use it to legitimize or give more voice to their inner demons. But, there is a reason why this term is so popular these days and there’s some truth in its popularity. Having a nice 6-figure salary is one of the best weapons to battle imposter syndrome, at least in my experience. Nothing says “you are worth it” than your negotiation resulting in the salary you asked for. It’s empowering, validating, and a defining milestone. It also gave me more assurance when I negotiated other job offers & compensation packages later in life.

I was still the same person I was, with the same challenges, flaws, hard decisions to make in life.

This was the most sobering fact that dawned on me a few months after I started this job. Having the 6-figure salary I wanted was not some silver bullet. Getting paid this much didn’t change who I was or the problems I had. It boosted my confidence, sure, but it didn’t give me confidence that I didn’t have. I still had to commute to work, felt anxious before a presentation, had co-workers that were so annoying I wish I didn’t have to deal with them… my work life did not magically transform into something else better. And as naïve as that sounds, I used to hold on to the thought of “if only my salary was much higher” and then things would magically improve. This definitely didn’t happen.  

The satisfaction wears off fast. The mind latches onto new goals, and the hustle starts all over again.

It’s human nature. We set a goal, achieve it, feel overcome by a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction…then it fades. And we move onto the next thing we slave away to accomplish. This is a big concept in positive psychology called the hedonic adaptation. It describes the fact that “happiness doesn’t last”; you buy a new car, get a big promotion, win the lottery, etc. But after a while, the excitement and euphoria wear off and you’re back to your baseline of emotions. And you feel like you’re back at square one, with new goals to tackle in order to find that “high” again. On this front, I highly recommend three books to read on finding ways to create meaning and measure happiness in life: How Will You Measure Your Life by Clayton Christenson, The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor, and Designing Your Life by Bill Burnette and Dave Evans.

What’s your salary story? How does your current salary make you feel and why?

The post I landed a 6-figure salary job by age 30. This is how my life changed. appeared first on Cubicle Chic.

Maggy London Jackie Midi Dress, Size 4, $118

How has the new gig been, you ask? I’m not going to sugarcoat it… It’s been hard coming back to the 9-5 routine after a 4-month hiatus. Don’t get me wrong, the new social media role is engaging, challenging, and making me learn new things almost daily. It’s everything I could’ve hoped for in this new job. But during my time off earlier this year, I’ve gotten a taste of the flexibility freelancing offers and the cubicle life just isn’t the same anymore. The commute, the traffic, the meetings, and the lack of personal time sometimes make me feel stuck in the corporate life. I catch myself wishing there were more hours in the day so I can dedicate more time to blogging, exercising, gardening, and just living…

However, this is the life I’ve intentionally chosen to embrace again and without it, I couldn’t possibly write a blog called Cubicle Chic, could I?

So, to continually find energy, motivation, and intentions in my day-to-day and not feel stuck in the corporate life, I’ve developed a series of healthy habits, or, should I say, rituals. Here are 6 things you could do everyday to prevent feeling stuck in the corporate life:

1. Reframe the problem of “feeling stuck”

First, start shifting your frame of mind when it comes to feeling stuck in the corporate life. This is a new concept I’ve learned from a book I am reading now called Designing Your Life, How to Build a Well Lived, Joyful Life. In the book, the authors Bill Burnett & Dave Evans talk about the issue of fixating on “gravity problems”. The example they gave is people feeling stuck on things that they have no power to change – the building they work out of, their manager’s temperament, their salary (to an extent), etc. Instead, if we accept things like we accept gravity, we can shift our focus onto other things that we CAN improve.

Another thing the authors recommend people do is to keep a Good Time Journal (download their free worksheet and try it yourself). By doing so, you are consciously monitoring what activities engage you and put you in the zone, and what activities drain your energy. If you can intentionally manage your day knowing how to fuel your energy tank with the right kind of activities, and organize your day around things that engage you, you can avoid that numb, frazzled, and exhausted feeling that we all feel too often past 5PM.

2. Meditate with the Headspace app

It’s 2017 and even corporations are embracing meditation as a productivity hack. Some even consider it a team sport. But truthfully, I’ve tried to get into meditation and failed countless times. But it doesn’t stop me from trying to acquire the habit of doing it, only because I’ve gotten a glimpse of the kind of ZEN your mind could enjoy if you learn to put your mind at ease voluntarily. With meditation, you can calm the thoughts that haunt your mind, and focus on the things that you want it to focus on.

The ever-so-popular app Headspace makes the practice of meditation so much more manageable and accessible. In one of the first sessions, Andy Puddicombe talks about being “present” in an unpleasant activity. Take sitting in traffic for example. What this means is, instead of wishing I was somewhere else and NOT in traffic, I choose to be present when I AM stuck in traffic. Whether I choose to spend the time in quietness, listen to my favorite podcasts/tunes, or talk to a friend on the phone, I don’t resist the fact that I am in traffic. And I just accept it and stay present in it.

A lot of times, it’s the act of resisting your condition that amplifies the unpleasantness of it.

If we learn the art of accepting a less-than-perfect condition, stay in control, and choose how we want to feel, then we can dictate how uncomfortable or comfortable we are.

Maggy London Jackie Midi Dress, Size 4, $118

3. Start your day by doing something you love

This is a proven method a lot of entrepreneurs and business leaders do to increase their productivity.

Imagine if you had one extra hour every day to do what you love to do and something you always wished you had more time to do. Be it exercising, reading, walking your dog, watching your favorite TV show, tending to your garden, drawing, or painting, or cleaning. Now set your alarm clock one hour earlier, and voila, you have your magical, extra hour in the day!

Of course, if you want to maintain the same level of sleep, you would need to go to bed one hour early. The practice here is to make sure you get to do what you love doing every day within the first hour of the day.

Since you already dedicated an hour to what you love doing, you won’t go on with your day thinking about what you wish you were doing… because you already did it!

Maggy London Jackie Midi Dress, Size 4, $118

4. Develop a ritual that lifts you up

For me, this is watering my plants in the office and checking on them every day. Seeing how they are doing every day makes me look forward to the start of the day more. For others, it could be brewing a pot of the exotic coffee you got last month, or brewing your favorite tea at the moment, or bringing in donuts one day of the week to share with your coworkers, or tearing off one page of the funny cat daily calendar … you get the point.

Find these little moments that give you a small dosage of joyfulness that makes you look forward to being in the office.

After all, a ton of research points toward the fact that it’s the small things that make us happy.

Maggy London Jackie Midi Dress, Size 4, $118

5. Remind yourself why you work

It’s okay if your primary motivation to work is to make money. It’s a lot of people’s number 1 reason. Just know that #4 on this list doesn’t work that well for you if money is why you work.

I’ve had the luxury of taking a substantial (4 months) break from working. What I discovered during the 4 months was that I have options. I can choose not to work. I can choose who I want to work for. I can choose what I want to do. So, when I came back to work, I had a strong conviction that marketing is what I want to do as a profession. I knew that my motivation is fueled by always learning new things, teaching people how to improve, and seeing positive results from marketing activities.

Whenever I question why I decided to spend 8 hours at work and 2 hours in traffic every day, which trust me, I do… I remind myself that it was my decision to come back to work and this is exactly where I want to be.

Maggie London Jackie Midi Dress, Size 4, $118

6. Remember your friends (contact old friends or make new friends)

Friends make work more fun, period. So many articles have been written and research was done to show the importance of developing strong friendships at work. Here’s a quick list by Business Insider of things you can do with coworkers to make the office environment more enjoyable with friends.

Also, finding time to craft a well-thought-out email to tell an old friend you miss them, and that you miss the good ole times is also a good way to bring in a sense of camaraderie or community into your immediate surrounding.

And also because this:

Maggy London Jackie Midi Dress, Size 4, $118

All photography by Natalie Alvarado @ Stylenfuse

The post 6 Ways To Stop Feeling Stuck in the Corporate Life Right Now appeared first on Cubicle Chic.